between one bleeding heart and another

Sunday, November, 28^th, 2010 – Day 108

dear readers, 

The truth is I walk around here giving advice 24/7 as if I have all the answers. From professional relationships to personal one, I always have something to offer – a little tidbit here or there to add. And no matter how genuine my words may be, I can’t help but think: ‘what the hell do I even know?’

The truth is – I thought maybe – just maybe if I left the States for a foreign place, I could find love.  I know you’re thinking, ‘you dumb fool. No gay man in his right mind goes to the Rep. of Georgia hoping he’ll find love’. And yet, here I am. I did come there thinking I would.

Well, that’s not entirely true.

I didn’t even want love. I just wanted one romantic date. Just one night where conversation and laughter would flow so naturally you’d think we new each other for years – where I could know what it was like to feel wonderfully desired. And yes! – where I could finally have the most amazing night of my life.To much to ask for? Probably...

In fact, the truth is – I haven’t even been down that road in a very long time! That’s right, an entire year. Well, this is partly my fault of course. I’m not an open house after all. I do have rather high standards, which are probably the leading factor in my current dry spell.

But what does one do in my shoes? If driving in the fast lane means getting more dates, does one worry about speeding past Mr. Right? Or do we instead simply wait for him to catch up?

The truth is – I’m tired of waiting for the right man to show up. I’m tired of giving relationship advice to people who already have a somebody in the picture. From one bleeding heart to another, find your own solutions. This match is lit, and the race is on.

watch out boys, d’s on a mission.

xo xo m